Monday, April 30, 2012

3 Years Since GBS Hit Me

Posting a bit early because I will be out of town on May 1st.
On May 1st I saw the Wolverine movie and later started feeling
sick with a stomach bug that started the chain of events.

3 years

3 years since I went and saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine 

3 years since I came down with a stomach bug on Free Comic Book Day

3 years since I sat there chugging Gatorade and Chicken Soup

3 years since being well enough to board a plane to Oahu

3 years since that wonderful trip in Hawaii; the beach, snow cones, hiking & swimming

3 years since it felt like the yummy seafood ramen turned my tongue to rubber

3 years since I thought I had been eating too much because I couldn't suck my stomach in

3 years since I got sunburned so bad my shoulders felt too heavy to lift

3 years since I climbed those stairs on Diamond Head thinking how hard each step was

3 years since I broke my toe and couldn't feel the pain

3 years since stumbling off the plane, thinking it was jetlag

3 years since getting out of bed in the middle of the night because it was hard to breathe

3 years since I went in for the MRI

3 years since my husband helped shower me because my arms were too hard to lift

3 years since that night when I fell after trying to get out of bed

3 years since my husband helped me from the car to ER before I sat in the wheelchair

3 years since I sat in the ER waiting room watching Robot Chicken waiting to see a doctor

3 years since the spinal tap that confirmed I had Guillian Barre Syndrome

3 years since I chose to receive a feeding tube because eating took too much energy

3 years since I lay in bed vomiting on myself unable to cry for help, after reacting to Darvocet

3 years since I feared I would never be able to use my hands again

3 years since I shut my eyes as they laced tubes down my throat for a respirator

3 years since I first felt the effect of morphine

3 years since I told myself it was ok if I died; I had no regrets

3 years since I remember hearing the doctor mentioning I might need a ventilator

3 years since part of me yelled to myself "No! Wake Up! We Don't Need a Vent!"

3 years since I woke up with the drive to fight to get back what I lost

3 years since I could feel my husband's kiss once again

3 years since I rode the abulance over to the neurorehab, then noticing I had double vision

3 years since I was rolled along in a wheelchair

3 year since I stood for 10 seconds

3 years since I figured out how to open a damn ketchup packet again

3 years since I scooted myself along in a wheelchair

3 years since I sat at the cafeteria table with neurorehab friends, working together to open a milk carton

3 years since I took my first step in my new life

3 years since I learned how to use a walker

3 years since I walked down a hallway independently

3 years since I left the neurorehab to go home to my husband

3 years since I played around with jewelry and this crazy style called “Steampunk”

3 years since I’ve met so many talented and gifted artists in the Austin & TX community

3 years since I have found such a strong support group of survivors and fighters

3 years since I have made so many and kept so many amazing and supportive friends

3 years since my life before GBS ended

3 years since my new life began

Driving forward to 4 years.


  1. Reading this brought back the memories I had during my fight with GBS. Some of what I went through I have stored deep into my memory, reading this brought them back to life. I remember sleeping on the teachers desk durning my senior year in HS, because I was seventeen and not allow to go home because there was not a parent home. I remember my brother coming into the bathroom in my hospital room, carrying me back to my hospital bed, not knowing I would not walk again for 3 months. We who have had GBS are true fighters! Part of me is glad that I had the opportunity to have had GBS, because it has made me look at life in a whole new perspective.

    1. You always see those little question journals and eventually they ask the question "If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?" And I have to say, even through all the hardships, I really don't think I would take GBS out of my life because it has made me who I am today, just like everything else. I have met so many people and made so many friends that without GBS I would have been stuck in the little world I lived in. It has opened doors and lead me down paths I never expected. It really has completely shifted my perspective on so much.

  2. truly amazing people are hidden in the background of life. I haven't suffered, and conquered, as you have. I can still appreciate your words and the wisdom in them, when I look at my lifes journey. To say the phrase "Live long and prosper" seems lame, but I mean it none-the-less.

  3. I'm not ashamed to say that this brought tears to my eyes. It makes me see your admonition "Don't Die!" in a whole new light. Those of us who know you, know you are a great being. :) Thanks!

  4. Wow you just mirrored my life with GBS